My current "hospital" book is a first novel by David Wroblewski called "The Story of Edgar Sawtelle.". Without getting into the plot, I'm going to quote a line from the book that I can't get out of my head.
"That the world could come permanently unsprung never occurred to him."
Two yeàrs ago when we first found out that there was something wrong with Jeff, that he had the dreaded C word, I remember thinking to myself that my world has now changed. My future, my unborn baby's future, and of course, Jeff's future was not going to be what I hoped. These thoughts eventually transitioned into an assumption that we would get past this, that trying times would pass and our world would soon be our own again. Never did I think, not consciously anyway, that I would need to be writing something like this two years later.
Obviously, that quote struck a chord with me because two years ago it did not occur to me that life could be so hard for so long. Do I think our lives have become permanently unsprung? No, I still do not believe that, but I do now know that one really bad thing happening to you does not somehow prevent the universe from crashing down on you again (and again).
So, right now, I need to remember that each day is a miracle, and my life will only come undone if I allow myself to accept that it has come undone. I'm stubborn, so I don't think I will be succumbing to that thought anytime soon.
**Jeff is receiving his Day -6 chemo as I write this. He just told me that he thinks Day Hospital has its sh*t together and he loves the heated blankets that Nurse Megan used to cover him up.
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7 comments:
So well said, Jamie. We're thinking of you...sending some strength your way to get through each day-- and learn to live in the present moment. We all need reminded of this. Know that Team Gleason is behind you guys.
Jamie, we were sorry to hear that Jeff's transplant was delayed... but hoping he will be stronger for this Saturday. We are all praying for him, and hope that next week brings happier days for all of you! Your strength is amazing, and Jeff is so lucky to have you by his side!! Love, Amy, David & Taylor
Jamie and Jeff,
Just letting you know that you are thought of daily. Here's hoping that this week will bring you the "healing" you need to bring you back to your wonderful life as you remember it.
Tons of thoughts and prayers coming your way!
Jen
I LOVE electric blankets!
Id say anyone that gives you a heated blanket certainly has their sh*t together.
Dear Medler,
Has anoyone given you an electric blanket?
oooo speaking of having sh*t together and giving heated blankets. Jeff gave me his heated blanket when I lived in the greenhouse last winter.
There's no seperated sh*t in this family!
Actually, Danielle, the blankets are just heated - as is they are fresh from the dryer - not electric.
still goood
Jamie and Jeff (and JD) - I am thinking about you guys each and everyday. Please know that you two are an inspiration to us! When I am having a bad day or ready to completely lose my mind because my daughter won't listen to me or the baby won't stop crying - there are moments I honestly sit down and think of the two of you. Jamie you are so strong(and Jeff without a doubt, you are stronger than I could ever hope to be). So at the end of the day (whether it be a good one or bad) - I can truly say that having just one more day with my family is truly a blessing in itself and that is something the two of you have showed me (and others I am sure)! Each day is a miracle and I will cherish each moment. My husband and I try not to fight anymore about who has to put our daughter to bed - because we realize how lucky we are to even have the opportunity to fight about it! What more can I say - but THANK YOU FOR SHOWING US THAT EACH DAY - EACH MOMENT - IS A BLESSING! ~ Brenda
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