I Don't Know Why I Do This

When Jeff was first diagnosed with AML last October, I spent a lot of time scouring the internet for any information I could get my hands on. I read technical papers about transplants, GVHD, chemotherapy drugs, platelet recovery time and its connection to survival rates, and just about anything else that I thought might tell me whether or not Jeff was going make it.

In addition, I also searched and found blogs of others going through the same thing that we were. These were the hardest to read, but also the most helpful. I remember one blog in particular that I followed from October when the author received his transplant. He ended up dying right around the time Jeff received Mark's stem cells. I can remember sitting at the computer in the hospital, staring in disbelief at the screen with tears running down my cheeks, crying for someone I had never met, but whose life had touched mine so deeply.

I've recently, for reasons unknown to me, felt compelled to read more leukemia blogs, and occasionally I make a comment to let the author know that my blog is out here in cyberspace just waiting to be read. Anyway, to make a long story short, by posting on someone else's blog, I've stumbled across many more blogs and have just read the stories of a young man named Derrick and a young woman named Erica. Both of them passed away earlier this month, and in reading about their battles, I can't help but count my blessings. AML is a nasty, relentless disease and Jeff is so lucky to have come through things so well. I certainly don't want to be overly optimistic, but after all we've been through, I need a little optimism to help keep me sane.

Derrick's story started out similar to Jeff's, but unfortunately for him and his family, he didn't end up nearly as lucky. He did his induction chemo in Hershey with Dr. Claxton as his attending, and followed with a stem cell transplant (which he chose to have done at Sloan-Kettering in NYC). Derrick made it to the 100 day post-transplant mark without too many problems. Unfortunately for him, he relapsed shortly after that and his body couldn't handle any more harsh chemo. Basically, his organs stopped working properly and he never made it to a second transplant. He was 23 years old when he died.

Erica's story starts with ALL, relapses with AML, and after a slightly mis-matched stem cell transplant, her body once again succumbed to some form of the disease and too much graph vs. host. I think she was only 28 at the time of her death. Both of these young people were so full of life and incredibly beautiful, both inside and out.

Sometimes I just don't understand the unfairness of it all.

A Boy and His Dog

JD likes to head butt just about everything, and Chance is no exception. He'd also like to give Hallie a good knock on the head, but she runs as soon as she sees him coming. My beautiful little boy is a bit of a roughneck. He finds delight in diving head first off of just about anything, hitting himself in the head with a coaster, biting and wrestling with Chance, ramming his walker at top speed into the kitchen cupboards and repelling off of my bookcases. He is definitely a contrast in character...sweet, laid-back, and happy, but very, very busy, and like I said, a bit rough.

I can't believe he's almost 1! He'll be walking any day now, and it makes me sad to think how fast his first year flew by me. I guess we'll just have to get working on another baby.

Happy Halloween!

JD's first Halloween was a happy one, and I can't believe he's already 10 months old. I know this post is a few weeks late, but better late than never. Enjoy the picture!

Visit to Hershey

Jeff just walked out of another good visit with Dr. Claxton. He's being weaned off of his anti-rejection medication, and with any luck, he'll be completely off that and his anti-biotic in a few months. In the mean time, we don't have to go to Hershey again until February. Yay!!

Shingles and Chickenpox

Well, the dull moments are few and far between for us. Jeff came down with a very mild case of shingles (very common in the first year post-transplant), and just a few days after we figured that out, JD started sprouting the pox. Luckily, my happy little 9 month-old was not too bothered by them. He ran a mild temp for a few days, and was a little cranky, but overall he handled them like a champ.

Another Good Check-up

Jeff had another good check-up in Hershey. We're almost a year away from the day when we found out that Jeff was sick, and only about 3 months until he hits the one-year from transplant mark. As I may have mentioned before, as we get further from transplant, the likelihood of a relapse continues to drop. Doctor's appointments are getting a little bit easier for Jeff, but the nightmare of everything is still a little too close for comfort. I guess that time should continue to help us heal.

JD at 8 months